Sponsors
NRC Handelsblad
Vopak
Smit Internationale
DuraVermeer
Heineken Brouwerijen Zuid Holland
Caru Schouten
Rotterdam Topsport
Zwatra
Gastenboek (69237 berichten)
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Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
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Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
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Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
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Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
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Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
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Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
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Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
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Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
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I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
I am not young enough to know everything.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
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Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
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It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
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Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
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I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am not young enough to know everything.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
If thereÂ’s one thing I know itÂ’s God does love a good joke.
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Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Why don't you write books people can read?
Why don't you write books people can read?
Why don't you write books people can read?
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
The truth is more important than the facts.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
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To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.
A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.
A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
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Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
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I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
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I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
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Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
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A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
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Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
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Silence is argument carried out by other means.
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To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
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If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
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Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
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Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
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Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
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The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
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A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
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Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
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I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
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The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
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In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
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Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
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If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
I didn't even realize you were sooo talented atqflhk dyw rvoun
Ik bookmarked dit guestbook skgdmwf bsc hlirb
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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
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That is absolutely genius ekfzqlp zoj zaplt :crying:
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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Great .Now i can say thank you - rkucyif dyi jroly :popcorn:
Votre emplacement est grand zdjyemu lpr hlimw -
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There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Please us with your sites qurflhe znt ofimq *HI*
G'evening exhnwpi ebd ypoqw :wink:
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Here that it is possible to tell :)) rzbdsuw xhw tqorx *JOKINGLY*
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The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
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Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Thanks yxpkgrd qyg lzsoa
Het bewegende werk hpveold hpi ocifb qlengd
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wyag
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
A melhor escolha - seu trabalho ... skcmwjn xua vmgtq
Respect work - lyotvua xkn xoqsy
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Ele' local fino de s axvknsb uht gusva *DONT_KNOW*
your comment4: munjwtp gox sqnhr VS
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A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Vele dank. Ga in de zelfde geest verder !! tjqoync clx fpbql --
G'evensong ;)) cqsukvz srt zfetb $
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Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
comments4: xsblhea rmw fatgq ~
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...
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Zealous article - yqzdrvs dex uieok rmifby
Respect work mecibdw wxz dunfv :rolleyes:
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WEBSITE giornatelarianeperlambiente.org
*STOP*
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Your work - pleasure for us! Remarkably :) jvkdflg vjl gtsuj esqwlnp
Newel ardent vsoluen nis ndifp
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I totaly love it bxwyamg yrc xgsuw
Ringraziamenti dello Special per il vostro lavoro - dmsplir ugy iwscl [smiley=wink]
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
your comment2: yvpomln acv uekzn ;;
I can see it more and more tebyuix uyh jibxu .,
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
WOW O_o rsoyhiv cxq ribol [smiley=happy]
Ik heb volkomen genoegen, dank voor uitvoering genomen lvtjoak hce bsyju :mrgreen:
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I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Uitstekende plaats, abrupte uitvoering. Een goede soort jaktqfo bjs mkdra
G'evensong -- aotqwcd xio lpzqu *OK*
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If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Schmackhafte Arbeit ncswmqu hst scxqu
your comment4: xfpzjsk bjp xleak
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:popcorn:
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Choicest regards -- nkobftc owr bmfol
Most appropriate regards vbjoetm raz hvkqs [smiley=angry]
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
De plaatsen van Comprare zjdsgko ywt zqygo *TIRED*
Keep movin! Write more – this is the right way gvztofm tiz luncf VS
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As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Bye nfkhqeb cnk yzebl urap
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
I can't say anything but WOW :)) qaeytkz wct tpems .
Si vous devez le faire, vous pourriez aussi bien le faire droit qhrimza fen izwja #
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Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
The unexpected decision ! vmfplir vfy lvfoy :crying:
+1 -- jdwgczv sjt rfolu +
your comment2 8-)) _ttp://www.spl-h.biz _ttp://www.crwebtools.com ;
~
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Ijverig artikel -- ljdzwcv wdf zsyve VS
Respect work ;) qhxzoas fcb yeujl jsvaq
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Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Thanks, it have very much interested Me ^^ artikjl leg pzkny [smiley=happy]
+1 - xbyhenk ylz qaghu
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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!!!
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Comprare Aufstellungsorte ^^ jkypsne frq nelvd
Het smakelijke werk czufigs lih jcoqe :shock:
Merci pour votre travail, emplacement parfaitement bon qvobyij vun jragh fyirox
Eifriges newel bjgyvfo uly upzvf
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Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
comment 2: -- iqmrkhv zyo cmtgk
Su sitio es grande :))) fplekum ibw qazbm *STOP*
G'evening site _ttp://kasykla.info site: _http://spl-h.biz
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Thank you for this 8-) xekuqnt lgc weakt +
Dank zu Information ! xzdyfae buo rbzuf [smiley=evil]
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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
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G'evening hcirmvf jtx utkhr --
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,
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
In montante esperto -- mjuprcb qal akvhf
it's really interesting zwukmoq wab imbun
Gracias por la información [QUOTE] ttp://www.kasykla.info [/QUOTE] [QUOTE] ttp://www.nbwomenzhifu.org [/QUOTE]
Why don't you write books people can read?
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Most appropriate regards -- wrkgdna nlh cdbtg
Thanks you ;) qahxvjl uap giufr --
I can't say anything but WOW -- spl-h.biz giornatelarianeperlambiente.org
yfqpr
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Great site. Keep doing ;) vmbrghn zns mrtlb bsdgvkz
De plaatsen van Comprare ajekhqp lsc qpvrb
G'evensong HP _http://www.sex-picture.biz LINK: xttp://www.spl-h.biz :evil:
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
Thanks uliebjs ofc pxhqn
Thanks dnuymza pzf sevdu
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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
your comment4 vflixdq wsy qifav rektq
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iofjdya
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
That's just great O_O gdfhacb guw esdti
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
G'evensong duvrsfg fne uymdr huakg
Mercis de Special de votre travail zdfuapo lkm djhnc ;
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I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Good work !! tdnjgcz dha zudaw *HELP*
Thank you for good job zwigsdc jsn tdbac jtbq
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
comment4 :)) gktdzwf zqj wnkud ,-
Grande luogo. Buona Info borgzeu lya ofhap jcviot
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
I can't say anything but WOW ymohjlk osh nyagv :!:
Emplacement incroyable -- lzxhfeg rnz reqod
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I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
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Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
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I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
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I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
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I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
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Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
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I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
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Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
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Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
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They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
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In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
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Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
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A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
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The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
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Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
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Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
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Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
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ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
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If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
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Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
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He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
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Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
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If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
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Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
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The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
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I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
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Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
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I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
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In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
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Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
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We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
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All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
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I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
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The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
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The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
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I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
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Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
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Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
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Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
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If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
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Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
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The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
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Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
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When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
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An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
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Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
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If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
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If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
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Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
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We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
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The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
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Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
I love to watch free porn and this is my favorite place to watch and download awesome porn
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is more important than the facts.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Why don't you write books people can read?
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
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It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
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It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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G'evensong -- arbyhvi fws qntdu :eek:
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
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Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
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There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
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If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
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If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
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If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
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Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
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I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
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Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
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UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
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Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
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Merci situent est bon fgixqse ktw bcrqf --
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*KISSING*
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
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TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
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A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
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If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
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A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
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Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
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Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Het bewegende werk hgzvsoy ems bwfoy kgzjftx
Keep movin! Write more – this is the right way . ligehsr xuf izynp [smiley=tongue]
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Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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.,
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Pre-eminent regards qpveoyh zxu osvea .
Choicest regards ;)) tiohnjl kuw osunp [smiley=shock]
comments1: _http://www.spreadit.biz www.erexion.org ..
Bel emplacement fgvodci zjy skzby
+5 ! dlirbop nlv xolve [smiley=laugh]
Good WorkFavorite Site Ever WEB: _http://erexion.org
Safewaybangladesh.com
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Aufstellungsort ist sehr viel sogar gut ;)) hepxvdb uni yeupx ~
Le meilleur contenu, conception d'amende ljpqmfa tgd bjscg xyli
Thank you ;) site www.artidusunce.org * web _http://www.spreadit.biz !!
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Thanks ;)) rdhlsav oyc prlov [smiley=think]
Travail habile -- zhnakud usm lthyp nmzqyp
comment ttp://spreadit.biz #
Hp _ttp://artidusunce.org ! :tongue:
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Thanks you vmscpyi dpi sjtgk +
Thank you for good job o_O ghletjn jdc ebdsw *DRINK*
Les meilleurs voeux http://www.spreadit.biz LINK _http://www.safewaybangladesh.com
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
+5 o_O lcmuyph upt fcirs vqn
Thanks you :))) lytfqca qay zaynm hrdbnp
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
bnbvednjwewqf, http://www.seks.ba/ Sex Filmovi, EdrErgf.
Hi all 8-) bafczgn uli cxgdz dvokxu
Ele' local fino de s - vsbcmio urp mdshn ...
Le meilleur choix - votre travail -- [QUOTE] www.erexion.org [/QUOTE]!! ttp://www.spreadit.biz
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Le meilleur contenu, conception d'amende - vofnucw hwn yezpk wtkem
comment5 kptxfjd gpo bzqhc
Bon travail ;) http://artidusunce.org -
Parapharmacie-facile.com
Most appropriate regards !! bfcyvzj pkg xblyv |
That is amazing ogcmisf txi uhtcm
Emplacement parfait, je l'aime ;) _http://www.spreadit.biz xttp://www.safewaybangladesh.com
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Newel ardent ... gnqvfya wkd puzsc .,
Pre-eminent regards zyeaxgd hyr epirb :angry:
I'm looking forward to your new creation -- ttp://artidusunce.org web: ttp://safewaybangladesh.com
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
That's just great - ulvrbxh rvb nekgq :rolleyes:
comments4: !!! wcislqj hrt xkmcr :sad:
your comments5: 8-) [QUOTE] www.spreadit.biz [/QUOTE],- WEBSITE www.goacci.com -
+
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Good day -- chqnjtd wha asxyh ...
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
WOW znymbdo bla khfat VS
Montante commovente - LINK: _ttp://spreadit.biz
URL: parapharmacie-facile.com etxr
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
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Respect you :)) nvtbuay jzf uetmc :wassat:
Respect you ytpzvsg idz pgqmj *PARDON*
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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Many thanks - jwyrtbu hvx wsecb |
Respect you patczis lgm hcvfb
Keep movin! Write more – this is the right way ^_^ bsyveox dlh hatpm #
Thanks for your work, perfectly well site rnzkcet tbf exrmq atxrm
Thank you ttp://www.artidusunce.org ..
Ttp://www.spreadit.biz ;;
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
your comment2 ^^ qkudaxg hli kvolh *
I answer you olynchj qdp dwulx abzfl
your comments2: :) _ttp://parapharmacie-facile.com ,- _ttp://erexion.org !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
G'end of day ... xjoyurb wrn ribku ,
Thanks you big o_O xqpamkj xhp rxzqf *WRITE*
Thanks for the great post www.spreadit.biz ;; _http://www.parapharmacie-facile.com
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
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Eu quero dizer - obrigado para este o_O lyrgmoa fti gmsyr $
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Wow, you did great klueaxc fqw dibox ..
Arbeit, Webmaster, netter Entwurf bprgzsh jmx wtrqp
Thanks you big hp http://www.erexion.org hp _http://www.spreadit.biz
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Zich rechtop het bewegen izmqelc dur stduc ..
Luogo incredibile ziyures vze usyir .
G'end of day 8-) WEBSITE spreadit.biz http://erexion.org !
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
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Respect you wvokhre que ltdzj *JOKINGLY*
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
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your comment 1: _http://goacci.com
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In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Thanks you rfhajpv vwl tgzfl *
Very interesting site. Hope it will always be alive ... xzfolhr myi ypeob ,
Respect work www.erexion.org _http://www.spreadit.biz [smiley=happy]
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
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