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If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am not young enough to know everything.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
I am not young enough to know everything.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
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Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
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If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
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It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
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I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.
Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
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Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
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UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
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It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
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Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
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The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
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When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If a man does his best, what else is there?
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
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If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
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You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
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Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
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A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Entenschnabeldino
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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