Sponsors
NRC Handelsblad
Vopak
Smit Internationale
DuraVermeer
Heineken Brouwerijen Zuid Holland
Caru Schouten
Rotterdam Topsport
Zwatra
Gastenboek (90815 berichten)
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It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
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I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
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Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Why don't you write books people can read?
Why don't you write books people can read?
Why don't you write books people can read?
Why don't you write books people can read?
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
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